Yes…you read that correctly. Sperm shopping. Did you know there are websites out there where you can look at a PDF of a man biological makeup without ever seeing a picture of him? Build a baby basically! Let me back up; when you are seeing an infertility specialist, you have to pick out sperm UNLESS you have a husband and then they can just use his. In our case, we have to pick someone because…well…obviously! So I’m at work and get a text message that says “We should go sperm shopping tonight!” Will we pick the gentleman who looks like Will Smith/Derrick Rose or the one who looks like Rick Fox?! Both have plenty of characteristics that we both love! Athletics are the most important for Danielle and for myself…if they are smart, that’s all that matters to me! Our children will have plenty of my attributes added and I’m just saying…our household will never be a boring place…and our children will be divas.
I’m gonna go through and explain the process of IUI and how it benefits infertility and same sex couples.
Consultation and Conception
So we use a company called Parints. They are based in St. Louis and are the most amazing women we have ever met! We love them like family! So typically you go in and have a consultation about your health history, why you wanna have a family, etc. Then they tell you the prices and how the process works. Typically you have to have blood work done, wait until the first day of your period and order that sperm you’ve been shopping for! Then you get ultrasounds and more blood work. I hate getting blood drawn and after the amount I needed, I felt like I was seeing a vampire! Once your ovulation date is determined, you get a shot to help with conception, 48 hours before your insemination date. Lots of waiting and anxiety during this time. On THE day, you go in. No turning back once you walk into the room. Kind of a weird feeling for first timers. I know I felt very excited and also extremely scared! This moment is going to change my life! The room is super comfortable. Kinda like a cozy, little bedroom but there’s an ultrasound machine right next to the bed.
Now the next part kinda sucks. It’s very uncomfortable. Think about going to your OBGYN and they use that tool that helps open up your vagina to examine you. Well she uses that and takes this very long syringe up through your cervix towards your ovaries! It was like a small scratching sensation on the inside. It wasn’t my favorite part at all. She then pushes all of the semen through the syringe and boom your done. Time to wait upside down for 20 minutes.
Normally, when you’re having heterosexual sex, semen has to travel through your cervix and try to get to your ovaries before they start to die off. That’s a long journey. IUI cuts about 80% of that journey off by going straight to the ovary! Speedy delivery if you will. The whole process takes 3 minutes. It’s super quick and then, like I said before, you have to wait 20 mins upside down. Gravity isn’t always our friend so it’s best to work with it in a way!
The TWW is “Two Week Wait”. You have to wait a full 14 days from the insemination date to see if your pregnant. It was the longest wait in my LIFE!!!! Did we wait the full 2 weeks? No…and that’s when we found out why you have to wait. It’ll say “negative” regardless of if you are or not. You have to wait for your HCG levels (human chorionic gonadotrophin levels…pregnancy hormones) to peak above a 6. And normally they won’t show up until week 2. Try to ease your mind during that time. Find a show on Netflix that has your 100% attention, learn to mediate, go for a walk (walking and exercise is good for you during this time), keep as calm and collected as possible. I know when I’m about to start again (I will not be informing when…that’s a secret 🤫) I will be binge watching Downton Abbey on Amazon Prime for the hundredth time, read more books and meditating….my usual hygge practice.
Now, the only thing that you do need to keep an eye out for is bleeding. If your period comes before you’re able to test…It hurts and it’s not what you wanted, mama. But you need to lean on your support system during this time so you can heal! I have a wonderful client and now friend who went through 3 different attempts to get pregnant! She shared her story with me for you guys!
“The first time I was scheduled for insemination I was nervous because I really didn’t expect it to work but I was still hopeful that it would 🙂 When I found out that it didn’t, it wasn’t terrible but it was still a little crushing. After the second time didn’t work, I started questioning if it was ever going to. I know that some women try for years and I was wondering if that was going to be my journey. The company started talking to me about testing options if the third time didn’t work. There would be certain tests that they would want to do just to make sure that we weren’t doing these procedures for no reason if I wasn’t able to get pregnant. This made me quite nervous but still super hopeful going into the third round. When I found out that the third round took I was just amazed and felt so blessed. Then this brought on a whole new set of nerves.“
Melissa is currently pregnant with TWINS!!!!! Her little princesses are such a blessing to her and they have no idea the amount of love they will receive from her!!!
Bleeding is typically a normal thing for pregnancy. It means that your little has attached to you! Which is a great feeling…but it’s also nerve wrecking because it could mean anything else…miscarriage, ectopic, etc. The last story I’m going to share with you is a tragic and beautiful story of hope. My friend Brittany has had her share of troubles. This is her story:
“The story of our loss-
After trying to convince for just over 3 years, my husband and I were thrilled to find out we were pregnant on September 22, 2017. The excitement and joy were overwhelming. We were lucky enough to know at 12 weeks that we would be having a boy. Everything seemed to be going great. We were all set to go to our 20 week anatomy scan on December 21, 2017. My husband and I waited patiently for the ultrasound technician to tell us how our little peanut was doing.
When she stepped out of the room ‘to speak with the doctor’ my heart filled with worry.
When the doctor and technician returned, the doctor told us that no heartbeat could be found. We had lost our son.
We were told to take our time, go home to pack a bag, and return to labor and delivery.
We returned that evening to deliver our sleeping angel. I was induced from 7pm December 21st- December 23rd at 3pm.
Our son was born on December 23rd, 2017 at 5:27 pm. My husband’s birthday is 5/27. For a moment my heart smiled. We spent the next 15 hours with our baby. It was the most difficult thing either of us have ever experienced in life.
6 months later, I became pregnant again.
I am now 10 weeks away from meeting our daughter. I am filled with joy, excitement, fear, and every other emotion know to mankind.
I share this story hoping that other angel moms and dads continue to have hope.
If you keep your spirits high, like the sun in the sky on a rainy day, there is a rainbow after every storm.“
Pass the tissues please. Mamas, do not give up hope!!! Keep as calm as possible, pray, meditate, do whatever you have to do! If you are having trouble getting pregnant, you are not alone. If you’ve lost 1, 2, 5 or 7 babies, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Keep calm also and surround yourself with a support system! Join Facebook groups, follow instagram pages, look into support group meetings in your local city! Yes, we are living in a world where pregnancy is held up on this pedestal where nothing bad happens…but that’s not the case. We have sisters out there and we are not alone!
So sorry it’s taken so long to post this one!!! Please make sure you sign up for emails so you get the blogs directly to your inbox! Also, follow me on Instagram! Love you mamas! 💋